Thursday, September 20, 2012

The Dating Minefield w/ Charles A Johnson

This week I'm bringing you a book about dating, romance, and love - Charles A. Johnson's "How to Find the Right One & Make It Last".  As a single woman who has been out of the dating scene for much of my adult life, I thought it might be interesting to see what this life coach had to say about the dating minefield.  Perhaps I could learn a thing or two about what to do and what to look for as I consider venturing back out into the world of romance.

Book Summary:
We all want that special someone in our lives.  But isn't it odd that one of life's most important lessons tends to receive the least amount of focus.  It's no wonder why we have so little success attracting the love, passion, romance and fun that we all need and desire.

The problem for many busy and successful people is that they do not know where to find and meet the right partners, how to approach dating, or what it takes to build and sustain a healthy, loving relationship.  To address these issues, I have taken a unique approach and have written this book about real people, like you, who struggle with finding love and the right companionship.  Many who have used my techniques have been able to find happy rewarding relationships.

This book provides real world experiences and proven dating strategies and techniques.  It's a guide that can be used to change your life and bring you the romance and love you've always wanted.

My Review:
First of all, it is clear from the get-go this is a book directed toward a distinct audience of wealthy executives, not the average Joe or Jane.  The average Joe and Jane don't go to department stores and boutiques where they have personal wardrobe shoppers, nor do they typically hire a personal chef from their favorite restaurant to cook a gourmet meal in their home.  Most are happy to take one family vacation a year, not able to take time away to travel the globe in search of Mr. or Ms. Right.  Those options sound lovely and nice, but for the average person they are neither feasible nor practical.

That said, there are some helpful tips just for anyone considering or starting a potential relationship.  It is always important to dress appropriately for the occasion and venue.  Keep the physical aspects aside until you have the chance to really get to know someone.  Too much attention for the senses clouds your better judgment.  Find out what you have in common - if it's just about the chemistry, you're in for a letdown eventually.  Never anticipate changing your mate.  Then there's that most important piece of the puzzle that tends to get left out of the equation far too often - communication.  Learn to communicate properly with respect and dignity early on in a relationship and make it an ongoing priority. 

Continue dating one another after marriage, remembering the little things you did early on and the things that light up your spouse and make them feel special.  Everyone goes through a few bumps in the road, but that can be alleviated with continued communication and counseling as needed when the bumps arise.  They should never be left to fester.  If you suspected or found out you had cancer, why would you put off treatment while it is still manageable and instead wait until it becomes inoperable?

I'd liked to have seen more of a focus on being the right one instead of just having the appearance of the right one.  So much of the first half of the book focused on looking the part, designer shoes and handbags that most men would never even notice (I even took a sample from many of the professional women from all walks of life I have the opportunity to work with and/or talk to on a daily basis, and every one of them felt the same about their boyfriends/spouses).  Very little referenced important character issues and traits, things to consider about ourselves and potential mates and how these can enhance or hurt. 

There was a promise several times to ladies about upcoming information on how to spot a player.  I anticipated this would focus on cues to pick up on when someone was trying to hit on you.  When I finally arrived at that section, it was mainly about how to figure out you're with a player AFTER you're dating or in a relationship with them.  Not being a part of the dating scene for so long, I'd have appreciated some cues on how to detect them up front.

The book had some wonderful real-life stories, some sweet and some difficult, but for the most part there was little here I haven't read before, or that I felt truly applied to a traditional girl who has left the corporate world behind and embraced simplicity.  But if you pick up the book and take something away from it that can help you in your particular situation, then it is a good thing indeed.

Charles Johnson's Bio:
Surrounded by three sisters and eight female cousins, Charles Johnson had a significant female influence growing up.  With the knowledge he gleaned from that experience, he spent the last 25 years coaching and mentoring hundreds of single professionals and up-and-coming, career-minded men and women -- including his own four daughters.

He found himself providing guidance to help these otherwise successful individuals improve their personal confidence by updating their image, polishing their social skills and providing insight into the art of establishing and maintaining relationships.  Charles has connected and helped hundreds of couples find marriage or committed partners and coaches them on how to make relationships last.

He has been married for more than 32 years and three of his four daughters are now married.  Charles has found happiness and balance in his own life as well, pursuing his passions as an avid traveler, photography enthusiast, art collector and a supporter of various charitable causes.  He enjoys basketball, football and tennis.  His greatest passion is writing about hope and how people can achieve their dreams and still have a balanced and complete life.

Visit the Tribute Books Blog Tour Page:

Charles Johnson's Web Site:

Charles Johnson's Blog:

Price:  $19.95
Publisher:  Two Harbors Press

On Amazon:


  1. As always, D A, thanks for the thoughtful, detailed review!

    1. Thanks to you again for allowing me to be a part of this blog tour. It's always so nice to "meet" other authors.